Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
