I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
