Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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