I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
