He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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