We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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