how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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