This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
