you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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