...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
