I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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