yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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