where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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