i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
