I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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