I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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