I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
