sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
