roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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