she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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