Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
