Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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