Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
