a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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