i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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