dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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