He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
All the doctor said was why
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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