I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
