Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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