apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
40s are totally the cure
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
