i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
