I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
