Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
God, I missed his penis.
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