the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
