Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
