I don't think brook has ever known best
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize