dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
