Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
