God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
