I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
