i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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