did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
