My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
