No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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