Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
