Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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