This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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