I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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