the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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