K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
