He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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