FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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